Tim's Daily Adventures

blogging from the iPhone

2008-09-02T17:31:00.002-07:00

So work gave me a new toy :)

Anyway, let's see, I got married, went on my honeymoon, got re-acquanted with wow and am currently still full time at bungie :) all-in-all life is pretty good!

Peace!
Tim

Updates!

2007-09-11T16:05:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone!

We've finally shipped Halo3 and I finally have some time to take up the blogging again :)

I just got back from a halo 3 event in Boston with the Projekt Revolution tour. We had halo 3 on hand for fans and band members to play. Spike TV was there doing a special which you can view here:

Game head

Wedding plans are going smoothly. We're meeting with an officiant on saturday, so that should be fun.

Also, you should get Halo 3, since I've become a full-time bungie employee and worked till 5am some nights trying to get the bonus discs done. If you'd like to see me working away on your own TV, you need to purchase at least the collectors edition which includes the making of documentary :)

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. I'm still adjusting to life on ~40 hours of work a week (WEEKENDS OFF!!!?!?!!)

Peace out and Cheers fuckers!
Tim

Where am I?!?!?!

2007-03-27T09:43:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone,
Sorry for the long delays between posts, but you may have heard of this little thing called Halo 3?

Anyway, let's get you caught up! Around December 12 or so, I was made a real life full time bungie employee! w00t! This had been the dream I'd been driving to since I started working in the games industry in 2001, even if I didn't know it at the time :)

At the end of February, I moved in with my fiancé in Medina and my commutes to the office have become really short, which is good since I'm working 6 days a week and till 9pm most days.

Well, my work machine has rebooted so I should get back to that. I hope you all are doing well!
Cheers, Fuckers!
-Tim

Engaged!

2006-10-25T23:02:00.000-07:00

I totally got engaged last weekend!

I had flowers delivered to her office in the early afternoon. We had dinner up at the pasta bella on Queen Anne. She totally thought I would propose during dinner, but I didn't. I then took her to Kerry Park and asked her to be my wife.

She said yes! :)

I love this girl so much! We'll have the wedding website setup soon and I'll make sure to link it :)

I hope everyone is doing well!
Cheers Fuckers!
Tim

The engagement ring!

jessica's ring

Long time no post :)

2006-10-01T16:40:00.000-07:00

well it seems like I've been super busy and haven't had a chance to update you guys on the going ons of my life.

Let's see... I was offered an opportunity to do some production coordinator work, while doing my other work. This lead to 3 weeks of me working 16 hour days. Needless to say, I quickly burnt out and declined the offer.

I am at work on a sunday which kinda stinks, but I had to get some shit done. I'd rather be on top of my work than drowning in it.

Things are going swimmingly with Jess. We're totally in love :)

We went and saw bombay dreams on friday. If you like bollywood movies and musicals in general, I would recommend seeing this one!

More to come in the following weeks I promise.
Cheers fuckers!
Tim

my wonderful girlfriend

2006-07-17T23:36:00.000-07:00

Have I ever told you guys what a wonderful girlfriend I have? Not only is she WAY hot, and smart and sexy, but she also spent this weekend with my mom! which if anyone has ever met my mom, she's a bit... rude.

Anyway, Hawaii was AWESOME! Jess went with me and we had fun in mucho fun in maui and kauai.

Work is busy, but I'm finally doing some programming tool stuff, so that is WAY cool.

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing good! I've been doing the 8am work schedule, so I'm going to bed!

Cheers, Fuckers!
Tim

long time, no tim (aka I'm going to hawaii)

2006-04-28T23:55:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone!

Sorry for the lack of updates on this thing, but I've been a bit busy with Jessica, so I don't feel too sorry :) Her birthday is coming up in May and I have to figure out what I'm doing/getting her :)

It's dunny but this is the first weekend we've spent apart since we started dating! Also, I'm down in Oregon for my buddy Houck's 30th Birthday. Tomorrow we're celebrating the 17th anniversary of his 13th birthday by going roller skating, going to a pizza parlor, and then finishing up the night with a retro arcade! w00t!

So I'm going to hawaii in June! My first and much needed vacation since starting work at microsoft. Jessica is coming and it's also my first co-ed trip :) So we're staying at a bed and breakfast for the first half of the trip on Maui and then hitting up Kauai for my buddy's, Steve, wedding on June 11th. I'm taking the 2nd - 16th off so I have recuperating time after getting back from hawaii :)

Well, I'm off to get some sleep as I'm getting up at 7am to go buy computer stuff with my dad.

Cheers, fuckers!
Tim

lack of updates :(

2006-03-20T12:46:00.000-08:00

Hey Gang-
I hope everyone is doing well! I have been way busy recently. Between the new gf and Fight Night 3 and programming, I haven't had much time to blog, sorry about that :)

St. Paddy's day was awesome. I ended up going to Clever Dunnes and then the 5-point for some early morning eating (aka 2am).

Good news! Kevin and Jenny are moving back to Washington!

and that's about it for me :)

Cheers, fuckers!
-Tim

so fucking annoying...

2006-03-06T12:02:00.000-08:00

Wow, I was going through my old posts today and got really annoyed by the guy that was writing all those posts. He looks like such a chump. gah!

Although, 1 thing I can take away from my "relationship" with Holly is to recognize when to get out. I should have dumped her way before I did.

Anyway, I am doing good. A rather slow monday morning, and no one has said that it looks like I have a case of the mondays :)

Oh, also, the new season of sopranoes starts next sunday! I only have like 4 more episodes before I'm all caught up! w00t!

Cheers fuckers!
Tim

lazy weekends!

2006-03-05T15:36:00.000-08:00

I really love the weekends! Especially when you can just chill and do whatever comes up :)

This weekend I went to my friends gallery at the castlehouse gallery. It was a beautiful saturday and a great day for a ferry ride!

Anyway, I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

Cheers, fuckers-
Tim

fun new things!

2006-02-28T10:28:00.000-08:00

Apple has made some announcements today!

We need to stop giving me more reasons to spend my money :)

weird shit...

2006-02-24T14:56:00.000-08:00

I kid you not:

judge forced off bench for polygamy

korean money song - just love this one, note to self: don't do karaoke :)

Well, I guess that's enough for friday humour. I hope everyone is having a good week.

Cheers fuckers-
Tim

I fall too easily

2006-02-20T20:56:00.000-08:00

i think i might love this girl. Which would be fine, had I not told her. I believe I have officially freaked her out.

Anyway, I am doing good. Also, I went to trader joes tonight :) I got lots of veggies, and some tasty lemongrass chicken stix.

I think an actual diet of veggies and good food is better than the nutrisystem diet. It will also be more functional since I still like going out to dinner and lunch sometime.

Well, I am watching 24 tonight, so that is fun :)

Cheers, fuckers!
-tim

hmm... not feeling so bad:)

2006-02-08T14:46:00.000-08:00

It's funny how one scathing email from someone can make you totally justified for cutting them out of your life.

It's funny but I was feeling bad for breaking up with holly, but since she felt obligated or just plain pissed enough to blast me in email, makes me realize that I'm definitely better off without her.

Anyway, things are going swimmingly with the new girl :) We have a pending valentines date, which I think I still need to plan. Although our date tomorrow night should be hella fun.

Sorry for being awol from email if you've emailed me :( Yes, Lost and 24 are AWESOME! You definitely need to check them out if you haven't yet.

Also, my "boss" wants to talk to me about my performance, or my performance test plan. I'm not quite sure. It doesn't bode well, either way :P

Cheers, fuckers-
Tim

the new and the old and the different

2006-02-02T19:50:00.000-08:00

I've met someone. I broke up with Holly, which was good. I couldn't sit around waiting forever. I couldn't wait around continually being cancelled upon. We're still friends, but it'll take a while before we can hang out again.

Jessica is very cute.

It's nice going out again. Having drinks, playing pool, making out :)

I don't know if you've seen Lost yet, but it's one of the best shows on TV these days. That and Battlestar Galactica :)

Anyway, I'm catching up with Lost tonight and am going to sleep soon.
Catch you guys later-
Tim

shamma shamma

2006-01-19T12:37:00.000-08:00

So I started my nutrisystem diet yesterday. I'm hungry :)

oh well, what can you do? I hope everyone is doing well. I have been averaging 5 hours of sleep a night, which means I'm exhausted. Also, we're having a contest at work tomorrow, which means my nights are filled with playing video games in order to prepare for the video games.

I also picked up "Jennifer Government" the other day. It is AWESOEM! If you have some time for a fun book, I would highly recommend this book.

Anyway, I should get back to work :) Catch you guys later-
Tim

err... I mean, cheers fuckers

what I like...

2006-01-15T20:48:00.000-08:00

church/christianity...
It's a good doctorine with great characters. the faith is based off drunkards and bums. I wouldn't classify myself as religious but a man of faith. I believe that there is a god. I believe that this world will be a better place because of christianity. (note: a lot of christians piss me off to no end.)

Battlestar Galactica...
This show is like crack... Cylons are hawt ;)

My friends...
yeah, I love my friends :) They're the best friends money can't buy. I like the fact that they'll take me out and get me drunk when I need to do that :) Also, they like to play board games which is always a plus!

My bloggging buddies...
You guys always keep me distracted at work :)

Working at bungie...
It's true, they treat me as an outsider, but I work on the best video games in the world!

the single boat...

2006-01-12T22:50:00.000-08:00

a relationship is too much time, too many responsibilities...

anyway, I don't know. I know we're going to try to remain friends...

but really, I feel like shit. I feel stupid for actually believing that she would be able to maintain a relationship.

The thing that is... I wouldn't have minded if she had told me that she just didn't want to meet during the week. I miss dates. I miss going to the bar with a beautiful girl and having fun. I miss going out to nice finners and eating the good food and paying way to much for a single night out on the town.

So, no obligations, no cheating on each other, but still talking. Invite each other out on dates, no obligation to say yes. No obligation to call, but if you want to call, you can.

I don't feel like calling right now.

Cheers fuckers :)
-Tim

pies and lesbians

2006-01-10T21:34:00.000-08:00

stopped by the pies & pints tonight. I was getting a prescription refill of the diabetic test strips, which just happens to be next door to my old favorite watering hole.

Stopped in for a pie and then the lesbians started showing up. there were probably about 10 - 15 when they'd finally all shown up. It was curious to see all these women who had no use for men. I wondered if they thought I was the enemy, or just some diseased creature that they wanted nothing to do with. Personally I have nothing against lesbianism, but I do like to be involved in the sex, and there's not much room for me in lesbianism :(

I'm watching House :) They're talking about relationships and how they're addictive. It feels good to be wanted :) To be desired.

I'm tired. I should sleep. I hope everyone is good.

Notes:
I want to thank all my blogging buddies....
lynn, mangey curs, quinn, racheal, Kim, and Keri :)

Without you guys, my days would be SO boring!
Cheers, fuckers!
Tim

voodoo chicken!

2006-01-08T14:58:00.000-08:00

So I'm watching this movie, Angel Heart. It's from the 80s and is pretty messed up from what I can tell.

anyway, I went back to mars hill today. I think it might still be my favorite church in the greater seattle area.

hmm... church... should I start back up in the new year? Is there something for me there?

Am I in the right relationship?

I'm sick. I have a sore throat and am just all around exhausted.

In other news, I signed up with the nutrisystem today, so I'll be getting all my meals sent to me in 4 week shipments. It should be quite the diet plan. Also, tomorrow is my last smoking day, so that's exciting.

Anyway, I'm off. i love you all!
cheers, fuckers!
-tim

it's finally over!!!

2006-01-01T12:14:00.000-08:00

holly broke up with me yesterday. My month and a half of her treating me like she diden't want to be near me, that I was the most annoying guy to ever be a boyfriend is finally over. The thing is, before we shipped PGR3, she was so in love with me. It was hard to forget that and just move on.

Happy fuckin new years eve. but really, it's the fact that I was rejected by her, because I was the perfect boyfriend. I didn't put up a fight, I wasn't a bad boy, I didn't give her a chase.

It's fuckin bullshit.

Oh well, it would behoove me to go to church again. I want a nice girl, but not a prude girl. It's a balance.

Anyway, I'm going to try and give up the cigarettes again. Maybe start exercising again. Get back in shape :)

I hope everyone has a good 2006. Mine is going to be fantastic!

Cheers, fuckers-
Tim

christmas eve...

2005-12-24T18:10:00.000-08:00

so I'm pretty sure the gf isn't checking her im's while she's down there, or she really doesn't love me anymore. I can't really tell the difference. Note to women: men do need to know that we're wanted and needed in your lives.

I feel like chump for falling in love, even if she does still love me. I'd like to believe that there is a relationship somewhere where you don't feel like someone is trying to leave you and actually needs you in their life.

Anyway, I'm off to christmas eve service at my mom's church. Wish me luck for the next 36 hours.

Cheers, fuckers!
Tim

just wait...

2005-12-22T23:24:00.000-08:00

So here I sit in oregon. My "girlfriend" some 1000's of miles away. My parents in the other room and my relationship hangs in the threads.

Have I finally annoyed her to the point she'll leave me? Does she love me anymore? Is this more of a fight than I want to put in right now? When she says she'll call and then doesn't, does that mean she doesn't respect me?

I miss my friends. All of you. I miss hanging out in the dorms having anyone stop by because it was right down the hall.

I started watching "Battlestar Galactica" season 1. This show is like CRACK! seriously you should watch it.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll write again soon :) afterall, I'm marooned in oregon and I'm looking for some attention (*cough, hint, cough*)

Cheers fuckers, and have a merry christmas if I don't get back here in the next day or so!
-T

these things I've learned

2005-12-19T14:07:00.000-08:00

*making a margarita on the rocks does not mean blending it then straining it into another glass... you just make it like you would any other mixed drink

*Just because you love someone doesn't mean they'll love you back

*Just because someone loves you doesn't mean they'll ALWAYS love you

*Pho tastes better with the rooster (AKA cock) sauce

*don't read blogs by ex-lovers

*working in videogames is both rewarding and demanding

*working in videogames is not as fun as you'd think

*having a girlfriend in graduate school sucks

*my blogger friends are the BEST blogger friends out there

sigh

2005-12-13T23:05:00.000-08:00

I miss my girlfriend. Seriously, I miss her. She's been in school/overtime mode for about 4 weeks now.

She went through this "I'm not good enough for him", "I've never had a boyfriend that treated me good", so I'm freaked out thing. I can't even read her right now.

I wish I could read her right now. I can't figure her out? should I be concerned? does she still love me?

I wish I knew. I'll update you as things progress.
Cheers fuckers-
Tim

this is the quiet area

2005-11-27T22:54:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful thanksgiving. Mine was nice. I went up to phil & niamh's place, which was fun. We played games and drank:) It was perfect.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm at where I'm supposed to be at. Is there a "supposed to be"? I suppose I am just curious as to what will happen.

I don't know. I'm sincerely confused right now. Just guarding myself.
Holding my breath, hoping it won't happen, dreading that it will.

Well, I'm off to sleep and work away my worries.
Cheers, fuckers-
Tim

I kill because I care...

2005-11-17T23:24:00.000-08:00

it's oregon time again. Staying with the dad and stepmom this time. We hang out, watch movies, fix dad's computers, talk, eat. You know the usual parent type stuff. It's werid cause you wonder how many more of these trips you'll make.

How did you become so astranged from your own parents?

Am I the son they raised? I am my own man. With my own dreams and ambitions. I love and wish to be loved. I wish I could bring healing to everyone.

Well, I'm off to dream of my beautiful girlfriend.
Cheers, fuckers-
Tim

I fell into a burning ring of fire... :)

2005-11-16T10:16:00.000-08:00

So, saturday, Holly threw me a surprise party! :) We went bowling and sang karaoke at the lelani lanes in north seattle. It was hella fun with a party that started around 9 and ended at 5am :) It was rad to see a bunch of my friends and I got Nintendogs! Oh man, best solo birthday in a long time!

Anyway, I finally met quinn yesterday which was hella rad :) and today I'm headed to Oregon to visit my dad. So now I need to go pack :O

I hope everyone is doing well in blog land!
Cheers fuckers!
Tim

My birthday!

2005-11-12T11:17:00.000-08:00

I went out to Jillians on thursday night, my birthday! It was fun to play pool and hang out with Phil, Niamh(Neve), Ryan, Angela, Stacie, and Holly!

I've been having the week off since last tuesday and have spent a lot of my time on World of Warcraft :) I started a mage gnome on canarius (negabyte, if you want to quest together :) )

Anyway, it's a little over a week now before the xbox 360 comes out and the marketing campaign is on a roll. I can't wait to get it and play on my new TV and on my couch.

Well today I'm doing laundry and updating my blog :) I hope everyone is having a good month and I'll catch you later!
Cheers, fuckers- :)
-Tim

in case you hadn't heard...

2005-11-08T01:04:00.000-08:00

I was first diagnosed with Diabetes about 3 years ago. I didn't know anything was wrong, but I began rapidly losing weight (60 lbs in total) and would be extremely thirsty and have to use the restroom at least 5 times a night. I promised my housemate cindy that I would go see a doctor once I got down to my ideal weight.

Once I hit 200 I knew I had to do something. I went in to Cliff's wife's work and had my blood sugar tested. At my "fasting" blood sugar level was at 350+ mg/dl (normal is 70 - 120) I got insurance and went to see the doctor the next month. I've been on diet controlled diabetes ever since. I'm doing great with the program, my A1c is about 5.2, well below bad (6.0 is the cutoff). I go back for another A1c next monday.

Diabetes is a pain in my ass, but at least I don't have to give myself shots everyday. I just watch what I eat and stick close to a atkins/south beach diet.

More recently, and forever, I've been working on games at Microsoft. As a contractor for 4 years, and then as full-time for the past 6+ months. I've been working on an Xbox 360 title called Project Gotham Racing 3. It's about the prettiest racing game I've ever seen. I'm proud to put my name on the title.

Now I have some time off to re-cooperate. I've been working 70+ hour weeks, so it will be nice. I will be visiting my dad in oregon next week, so that'll be good. I haven't seen him in a long while.

Anyway, it's my birthday on thursday, so that'll be nice. I went and got my license renewed last saturday.

Why don't I feel good right now? Why am I so tired? Anyway, it's probably because it's 1:15 am :)

Cheers, Fuckers-
Tim

New STUFF!

2005-11-01T10:28:00.000-08:00

So we're officially waiting for the peeps to get back to us to let us know if we're done. In the mean time, life at work is a little more lax.

So my parents came up and delivered a rug & silverware for my birthday! Best parents EVAR! So I got off a bit early yesterday and picked up a sofa from ikea. So I'm now sitting around waiting for my new TV to be delivered! I need a hi-def TV for when Xbox 360 comes out! :)

Anyway, I'm going to go get ready for work. I need to find my soccer shoes as I'm starting again tonight!

Well, gotta run!
Cheers, Fuckers-
Tim

life as a ball of wax or working for the man both night & day

2005-10-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

It's saturday. Do you know where your tim is? He's at work.

Anyway, we're supposed to be done with the mad OT crunch this sunday/monday time frame.

I'm having dinner with the parents tonight, so that should be nice. I'm a bit tapped out on energy right now, but I should hold up through the weekend:)

I've been having dreams recently. The most notable one was where I had a review and the reviewer had written that I was "teh suck", that was a huge blow to the ego. Then last night I dreamt that a gang was trying to kill me. werid.

Allright, back to playing some games :)
-T

work, love, games & spam

2005-10-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

So, every time someone leaves a comment I get a little email, which is really, REALLY nice when it's a comment by one of my peeps :) When it is spam from some site selling male enhancements, that is not so fun!

Damn spamming spammer spamites! *sigh* ok, enough about that.

We've got about a week and a half left with me doing 10 - 12 this saturday and sunday :P OT pay doesn't exist, which sucks.

I got to see my friends Kevin, Jenny, Kelley & Amidy last weekend, which was hella fun. Holly, the girlfriend :), made some delicious chicken parmesan, and then we met up with everyone at Pies & Pints! I love that place...

Anyway, I am still working and must get back to the job. I love you all.

Cheers fuckers-
Tim

updates!

2005-10-13T16:53:00.000-07:00

So my tattoo has appeared in the local newspaper, the stranger. !!!!! The people who did my tattoo, Slave to the needle, liked it so much that they decided to put it in their advertising!

Also, my neighbors, Phil & Neve are teh BEST! They live kiddy corner upstairs from me and are from Irelandish and are my new drinking buddies :) At least when I'm not working :P

Anyway, we're trying to ship, so I'm stuck at work 7 days a week now. *sigh* I'll catch you later-
Tim

work coma

2005-10-01T09:36:00.000-07:00

Hmm... I haven't updated this in a while :(

Let's see. Work is going well. The girlfriend thing is going well. Sleep has not been going so well, aka I haven't been getting any :(

I'm giving up smoking on monday, so I might get kinda cranky. I brought in Donuts to work this morning :) I'm working on a saturday :(

Serenity is out and I really want to see it. I tried to go last night, but they were sold out till 11:30 :(

I think that's about it. We're working hard until around the 24th or so, then I might get some sleep :) This weekend I'm hopefully re-arranging my apartment to be more suitable for a couch, whenever I get that. W

Well, back to work!
Cheers, fuckers-
Tim

I don't know if you saw...

2005-09-13T23:34:00.000-07:00

but I put up a picture of my tattoo on my photo blog. It turned out way better than I imagined and it came in $125 less than expected price. (since it only took 2 hours instead of 3 :) )

I do miss you guys. I am working 60+ hours a week now. Last night was date night, we went to Pies & Pints, Atlantic Crossing, and ended up at Teddy's. All in all, not a bad way to spend the date night.

I feel like I'm coming down with a sore throat, so that's no fun. Maybe I should try to get more sleep tonight, but I do need to go get some shirts in the mail in the morning, so I will have to get up early.

Oh well, so much for sleeping in:)
Cheers, Fuckers-
Tim

PS - you can buy a cheers fuckers shirt here from my friend at pies and pints
cheers fuckers

AWOL

2005-09-01T00:22:00.000-07:00

Life has been extremely busy. I'm getting my tattoo on saturday. My parents are coming up in about 18 hours. I worked till 9pm tonight.

Life with the girlfriend is fun. I'm done playing soccer for 2 months. (We finally kept the other team below 10 points)

I am working mad hours and I'm tired. Did I mention that already? Well, gotta run to bed.

Cheers fuckers-
Tim

disappearances

2005-08-18T01:10:00.000-07:00

Here I am... did you miss me?

A lot has happened over the past couple weeks. I have a girlfriend now. I've started working my mad hours at work.

I am still trying to move into my apartment. That is, I have moved out, now I need to just get my new place cleaned up. Unfortunately I keep going out till all hours of the night.

One of these days it may catch up with me. I am going to get my tattoo on september 3rd. Reviews are coming up, I may or may no end up with a raise and/or bonus.

*sigh* I am working too much for what amount to $15/hr with the hourly rate going down per hour of OT I do. This weeks total = 51 (by the end of the week) :P

Well, I'm sorry for stopping by just to bitch, but I'm tired :(

I promise to post more about the girlfriend some other day ;)
Cheers fuckers-
Tim

sleepy tired sleepy

2005-08-09T00:27:00.000-07:00

It's 12:30 and I should be asleep. I got home at 9pm and should have gotten straight to cleaning. Instead I got on WoW and played there for a while with some friends. Now I'm tired and I know I'll wake up exhausted tomorrow and I still don't have all my unpacking done. Anyone want a game table?

We hit a motorcyclist on saturday night while trying to return a friend of a girl home. I hope he's alright. It was scary and exhausting. Our driver finally got done with processing at 4am. I slept straight till noon on sunday.

Anyway, I need to go sleep now.
Peace bitches-
Tim

sleep and lack there of

2005-08-04T23:36:00.000-07:00

kissing, flirting, biting, pulling, pushing, breathing, tugging, licking, sweating, moaning, drinking, smoking, cussing, rubbing, cuddling, talking...

alright, enough of that :) It's been a bit of a long week. We're coming up on crunch time. I'm moving,. I'm playing soccer. I'm going out drinking. I'm flirting. I'm texting. I'm beginning. I'm ending. I'm holding my breath, waiting to see where things are going.

I'm tired and sleepy. I need to get more sleep tonight.
Cheers fuckers :)
Tim

new friends, new apartments

2005-08-02T14:59:00.000-07:00

Well, I moved into the new apartment last night. It's so quiet there! I love it.

I got my tatoo appointment setup for September 3rd, so that'll be exciting! Got Cable internet and cable television hooked up at the new apartment, so I have started my DVR up on some new Anime! I think I'm going to love my new DVR:)

Last thursday was fun. I slept 1 hour and friday was hell, but the time spent meeting new friedns was well worth it.

Tonight I have soccer, and then I need to buy stuff for my new apartment. I don't have a shower curtain, so I need to get one, especially after soccer!

Alright, I need to get back to testing videogames.
Later kids-
Tim

How can you say, the future is at your command?

2005-07-23T12:10:00.000-07:00

It's been a whirlwind of a week. I ended up getting a 1 bedroom apartment in Fremont on wednesday. It was so bizarre to wake up from my hang over and see a missed call from my new landlady.

Anyway, I'm hella excited. I am going to have to get some sitting type furniture so my guests can feel welcome. I'll only be able to blame myself for any messiness.

Anyway, mostly doing the work thing. I have been laying off the heavy drinking since tuesday (kidneys are rebelling!) Damn you kidneys!

Yesterday I went to a friends house to watch the first broadcast of Firefly on SciFi channel. So I think I'll start doing that every friday night for a while.

It was a rather mellow friday night actually. Mostly delivering notes from the Ravenna Alehouse Bartender and her Boyfriend Pies & Pints Cook.

Well, I need to go get a card for Dave's wedding. I'll catch you guys on the flip side!
Cheers, fuckers-
Tim

some friends and the zoo.

2005-07-17T21:11:00.000-07:00

Last night was a Hollow Points concert at the monkey pub. It was fun, and I had WAY too much beer. (2 pitchers + 2 people = 1 pitcher per person) My roommate chris put his cigarette on my hand as I was leaving. You can see the picture on my photo blog.

Today, I woke up in time to meet my friends and owners of Pies & Pints at the Zoo. That was fun. They're good people. Then I've basically been chilling the rest of today. I talked to some friends online and on the phone. It's been rather relaxing.

Sometimes, you just want to take the world and want everyone to realize how beautiful they make it. Sometimes you appreciate your friends so much and you think that they might not realize it. Sometimes, you just want to take an extra moment and say thank you for coming into my life, I am a better person for knowing you. Sometimes, you're just happy to Be. This is my wish for you, my friends.

Cheers, Fuckers-
Tim

I want you to hit me as hard as you can

2005-07-16T15:33:00.000-07:00

At this point, I almost just want to say I'm getting my own place and try the whole live on my own thing for a while.

I went to go get my tattoo today, but it turns out you have to have a consultation. And if the consultation goes well, you can then schedule the tattoo. So my consultation is on the 30th. That should be fun. I'll at least talk to her and see if she can do the ribbon and text for the tat.

Anyway, I went to Willy Wonka last night which was totally on crack:) In a good way of course. Tonight will be more drinking and dancing and grabbing and pulling and sweating and smelling and more of the same. After all, we only live once and I am here to damn my success.

oh well, what can you do. I'd like to give a shout out to all my peeps who read this thing. You make me smile:) (Also, I uploaded some new photos, so check it out :) )

Cheers, fuckers-
Tim

soccer as pain and punishment...

2005-07-06T00:24:00.000-07:00

So my 4th was good. I ended up at alki watching the fireworks, drinking and just enjoying the company. I'm sorry, but I am an alcoholic afterall ;)

Anyway, the doctor says pot is better than cigarette smoke... hmm... interesting advice, I wonder if the police would go for it too. What about the occasionaly cigar?

So I wake up with a total cold/sore throat. The fireworks were going off all night.

Today was ok, except for the impending doom of the test pass failing :( and me possibly staying on Auto Updates ForEVER:P The soccer game of me sick with dehydration and cold did not help tonight. We lost at 11 - 5 I think. We didn't score in the first half, but what can you do?

Anyway, I need to sleep. Here's to my first sober night in some time...
Peace-
Tim

developing habits...

2005-07-03T23:14:00.000-07:00

So I've been developing some habits recently. 1 is running around greenlake. I start at my house, run to greenlake, run the outside loop, and run back. I think it ends up being about 5 miles in total. I got the new nike free shoes. They're SO AWESOME! It is exactly like walking around barefoot! I love it.

Other habits:
drinking, smoking, dancing, kissing, smoking, drinking... (in no particular order)

Hmm... I think maybe I feel more human, more trashy, more "trying to hit bottom" as chuck palahniuk once wrote in a book about fight clubs.

I figure soccer will help balance out the bad habits, as well as my devotion to work.

Anyway, I have 3 possible parties tomorrow, but I think I'll probably end up at the one at my friends house in Alki. It really seems to be the best view with the most free food.

Anyway, I'm exhausted. Too much alcohol and dancing last night, followed by moving Jarred today.

Peace out-
Tim

There's something wrong with me, there's something wrong with you

2005-06-28T00:16:00.000-07:00

I'm listening to the new System of a down right now and it is rad! I am especially enjoying the "This cocaine makes me feel like I'm on this song" song.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I told you this, but I'm busily focusing on myself right now. I am running regularly and am working on eating better now, I'm also throwing myself at my work, which is good too.

Well, I need to sleep!
Peace out-
Tim

a very good saturday...

2005-06-26T13:13:00.000-07:00

So I ran the greenlake yesterday. 2 laps, my legs are sore, but it's all good, 5.6 miles or runnerific fun.

Last night was napoleon dynamite at the fremont outdoor movie. It's 5 bucks a person and we ate at paseo cuban restaurant before hand which was WAY yummy. As the show was letting out, I had a call from a friend going to Nectar, which was right across the street:)

So I ended up there until 2pm listening to Cinton Fearon & boogie brown band. All in all, not a bad saturday.

Today is the Ugly American at 3pm. I'm guessing I'll be laughing my ass off :)

I hope you guys are having an awesome weekend as well:)
Later-
Tim

soccer practice!

2005-06-24T11:10:00.000-07:00

So I have this cool turf burn on my left leg! Soccer practice last night totally kicked my ass :) I feel sore and tired today, but I also feel great! I'm feeling all excited to go running this weekend. I think it might be a 2 lap greenlake run:)

Anyway, I need to work. I'll catch you later-
Tim

girls and the pot

2005-06-22T09:05:00.000-07:00

so this morning there was a report on the radio from a former Seattle Police chief. He talked about how the "war on drugs" was stupid and wasteful. Instead of making drugs the crime, they should make the crimes the crime. I dunno, for some reason that made sense to me. There was lots of good talk about how the government could grow and tax marijuana just like it controls alcohol.

Anyway, for some reason I have this song stuck in my head, but really it's not the real song but a bastardized head version...

Girls, you really got me going,
body and soul,
don't know what I'm doing,
out of control... (repeat FOREVER!) :P

Thank god you ladies are in this world, otherwise I'd probably just play video games and work all the time:)
-Tim

quiet day on the blog front...

2005-06-21T16:22:00.000-07:00

I often wonder if I'm the only one addicted to my friends blogs or if everyone is. But I know people who NEVER would consider a blog or want to read other peoples blogs. It's just so weird. Although I do understand that the whole addiction thing could be kind of a turn off.

Anyway, tonight is George & the dragon, so that should be fun. I guess it's quiz night so that's something. Anyway, I'm off to finish my test cases.

Laters-
Tim

selfish american

2005-06-21T09:03:00.000-07:00

Give me all your oil,
Give me all your love,
Don't tell me what I can't do,
Just give me all your stuff,

I don't want to think about your problems,
I have enough of my own,
I don't want your sick or weary,
Just give me all your stars,

I'm just a selfish american,
I have needs to fill,
So let me have my way,
and I'll let you keep your ground.

magic camping!

2005-06-19T19:12:00.000-07:00

So I learned how to play magic the gathering (TM) this weekend. It's actually quite enjoyable:) It's true, my nerd factor just went up +2 :P

Anyway, it's sunday night and my room is hot so I'm going to go check on the laundry and TV. Have a wonderful monday!
Tim

ahh... camping!

2005-06-17T09:06:00.000-07:00

Well, another wonderful night at the duchess last night. Much beer was consumed. Much pool was played.

Tonight I leave for Orcas Island and camping! It's true, I'm taking my set of magic(TM) cards. We're all nerds:P It's funny cause I've never played, but the married "normal" couple are all gung ho for it! Did I ever tell you how much I love my friends:)

Well, I need to work. See you guys all on sunday/monday!
-Tim

good times

2005-06-16T00:45:00.000-07:00

I was able to hang out with Kevin, Jenny, and Kelley last night at McCormick & Schmicks. They have a tasty happy hour, so I'm always glad to go there. Work is crazy busy, so I'm working tons and now I'm leaving for camping on friday. It might be my last mini vacation of the year:(

Anyway, I need to sleep. Catch you guys later-
Tim

fed & full...

2005-06-13T23:16:00.000-07:00

Interestingly enough, things change. Sometimes I think about my life. Where I'm headed, what I'm doing, and where I've been.

I decided that I didn't like the me I've become so I'm going to change. My weeks have been full of promise and life and that's the way they'll stay.

I have a friend online that loves attention and I like giving it, although at one point I was probably obsessed, now I'm trying to move more towards friendship.

I've decided to pimp out my room and my body (more running, more lifting, more weight loss, more tattoos, new bed, new pillows). I've decided to quit obsessing on what might have been and just focus on the here and now.

As much as I realize I would love everyone to love me, I'm fine with not having that. I know that I am growing and that's what I need to do.

Later-
Tim

and now a word from our sponsor

2005-06-10T23:54:00.000-07:00

stop on by,
no one's home,
We all checked out,
long ago.
- an original by tim

So it's been a very, VERY drunk 2 days. It all started last night at the duchess. It was 9 and Joe & Jeremiah were already down there and Shawn calls me to let me know they'll be there in an hour & a half. I charge down and order a pitcher of which I drank 3 glasses (joe had 1, he wasn't keeping up with me) I order another pitcher and some more people show up. Eventually I'm totally trashed and Shawn drives me home. (Bed: 2:30, Alarm 6:40) Time for Physical Therapy:P

Tonight it was just a couple of drinks at pies & pints and trying to stay awake to finish writing this blog entry, and this is me, checking out.
Peace-
Tim

Coolest tool of the day!

2005-06-09T14:07:00.000-07:00

This website has combined craigslist and google maps to provide an easy way for people to find places to rent!

How cool is that? Hopefully I'll find out who will be my housemate soon and we can find a cool place (hopefully fremont) to live! :)

Just thought I'd share this cool tool.
Laters-
Tim

The other way by Weezer

2005-06-09T08:23:00.000-07:00

I want to help you
But I don't know how
I want to soothe you
But I can't speak out

I have many fears
about rejection
I have many memories
of the pain
I have always been
a little shy

So I'll turn and look
the other way
Other way, other way
I will turn and look the other way

I want to hold you
But I am afraid
I want to touch you
But I'm not that way

I have many doubts
about my motives
I have many fears
about my greed
I have always hurt
the one that I love

Hey look, I'm Yoda :)

2005-06-08T17:06:00.000-07:00

A venerated sage with vast power and knowledge, you gently guide forces around you while serving as a champion of the light.

Judge me by my size, do you? And well you should not - for my ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life greets it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us, and binds us. Luminescent beings are we, not this crude matter! You must feel the Force around you, everywhere.

Yoda is a is a character in the Star Wars universe. More Yoda information is available at the Star Wars Databank.

dog sitting and cinderella man

2005-06-08T09:50:00.000-07:00

I went to Cinderella man on monday night. It was quite good. I found that I was really my father's son, as I was dodging the punching on screen and punching back. I'm such a dork :P

It turns out I'll be house sitting for Jarred this saturday night so that should be fun. I think I'm going to be watching some "Deadwood" which he's been ranting about.

Also, can I just tell you how I love the new weezer album? It's like they took my thoughts and feelings and sang about them. weird.

Peace out-
tim

Freak me out by Weezer

2005-06-08T08:53:00.000-07:00

City streets at night,
can be so intimidating,
I'm not the toughest guy,
I've gotta keep my eyes open,

You came out of nowhere,

Man, you really freak me out,
I'm so afraid of you,
and when I lose my cool,
I don't know what to do,

I know you don't mean no harm,
you're just doing your thing,
but Man, you really freak me out,

Did I hurt you?
Are you okay?
Can I buy you a drink?
What's the world coming to?
You came out of nowhere,

Man, you really freak me out,
I'm so afraid of you,
and when I lose my cool,
I don't know what to do,

I know you don't mean no harm,
you're just doing your thing,
but Man, you really freak me out,

I'm going to try and improve my manners,
Everyone, yes, Everyone is my friend!

City streets at night, city streets at night,
till the morning light, city streets at night.

asleep

2005-06-08T00:35:00.000-07:00

you ever get that feeling that you're asleep and you're just waiting for someone to come along and wake you up? And you realize that you might not be woken up till it's all over? Like, welcome, thanks and goodbye.

love

2005-06-07T23:54:00.000-07:00

the seduction
the coming together
the touch
the life
the knowing
the secrets
the love
the intimacy
the closeness
the knowing

random dream

2005-06-07T16:37:00.000-07:00

I'm standing talking to a friend, being my shy self. This really cute girl walks up and starts talking to my friend. She then invites him to a party, and then realized I'm there and invites me as well. As I'm replying yes, she starts to laugh, as the whole thing were a joke to invite me, so I laugh along as well. Fast forward to about 2 days later(in dream time), I'm walking around and the same girl runs up and is like, "Tim here's your invitation to the party, I really hope you can make it" and then does that coy smile that girls do. I then walk away smiling thinking maybe she doesn't just think I'm scum after all.

End dream sequence-
Tim

An open letter to the ex

2005-06-07T11:08:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry for...
giving up on you
not being the best I could be
hurting you
allowing you to hurt me
"obsessing"
thinking about you right now
hating you right now
loving you

Everyone always told us we didn't make sense, but there is something about trying to prove everyone wrong. I knew you were just in it for the NSA but I fell for you hard. I wish I didn't love you and I wish I didn't remember. I sincerely wish you and your new boyfriend the best.

...somebody please distract me...
-Tim

for the technical geeks out there

2005-06-06T16:03:00.000-07:00

I am probably going to be doing performance testing on whatever unnamed project I end up on. So I've been reading up on the Xbox 360 architecture and performance stuff so I thought I'd share the links with you guys.

Part 1 of inside the xbox 360

Part 2: The Xenon processor

There's some pretty dry but interesting stuff in those articles. I'm also working on my mad C# coding skillz :)

I hope everyone is having a good day. Peace out-
Tim

appleseed, weezer, and system of a down

2005-06-05T22:43:00.000-07:00

Well, I went to the best buy tonight. I got the Appleseed movie, the new weezer album and the new system of a down album. I love me some system of a down. The new weezer album is fun too:)

Anyway, I just got done watching appleseed which was awesome. It's the first cell shaded movie I've heard of. Basically it's a 3d modeled anime which is then drawn over by the artists. It's very pretty.

Anyway, I'm having a good week I think. Basically I got drunk last night, ran this morning and had pho for dinner. How much better can life get?

Did I tell you that I am thinking I want to rent in fremont come august? Anyway, I'm off.
Catch you all later-
Tim

the singles' scene

2005-06-04T02:14:00.000-07:00

Well, my pies & pints was run over by lesbian cowgirls tonight. It was the strangest thing walking in and having the bar be overflowing with lesbians in cowboy hats.

Anyway, my roommate is getting lucky tonight, so that's good for him.

Goodnight-
Tim

it's time for some green :)

2005-06-03T00:42:00.000-07:00

I think I might be going camping in a few weeks. At least I was thinking of doing it in about 2 weeks. Had the knee appointment this (yesterday) morning. That wasn't so much fun. Stopped by the company store tonight and picked up some new toys.

Anyway, it's easy to forget that other people can read and find this thing on the internet. You know, everyone's favorite pass time activity, the internet :P

So I've decided that I need to stop worrying about finding the special someone and just not worry about it. Instead I just need to focus on my needs and desires. We'll see how that goes.

BTW, I realized that I have a damn great job today. Got to play dungeon siege 2 which was surprisingly fun!

Anyway, I need to sleep.
Laters-
Tim

little red hen

2005-06-02T00:25:00.000-07:00

So I went out with my roommate bryan tonight to the little red hen (www.littleredhen.com) As you may or may not be able to tell from the website it is a country bar, and tonight was karaoke. I think next time I might try to get up and sing, but that'll take a LOT more drinking :)

Anyway, it's 12:30 and I need to wake up at 6:40 tomorrow, so I'm off to bed.
Peace out -
Tim

cool blue reason...

2005-05-30T18:51:00.000-07:00

ahh... cake, I <3 cake big time.

Anyway, it is monday. Yesterday I hit up 2 Bar-b-ques. It was quite fun. Today is more overcast and mellow.

I'm feeling detached and in need of change. I'm hoping to go camping one of these weekends. We'll see how that goes:)

Well, I'm going to take a nap.
Catch you later-
Tim

the hot hot heat

2005-05-28T01:52:00.000-07:00

So last night was SO hot in my room I actually woke up at 3am and had to go take a cold shower to cool off. I had a headache up till then as well, when I finally took the aleve. It's pretty damn hot tonight as well, but no headache.

It was a pretty good week so far, except for Cahlen's car getting stolen from in front of our house and my car getting prowled 2 times. (alarm went of about 30 minutes ago and wednesday night) Had a morale event for work on thursday where they reminded me why I like Texas Hold'em (it had a gambling theme)

Well, actually I've been a little moody recently and I think it might be because of the heat. Anyway, it's a 3 day weekend and I'm going to try and get some sleep now.

Laters-
Tim

I wanna go

2005-05-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I just want to be picked up and whisked away on some adventure. Any takers?

another day, another crazy time at my street

2005-05-24T09:21:00.000-07:00

Story 1:
Actors:
Me, Karla, Old guy, cigarette woman
Setting: Yesterday morning, waiting for my carpool in front of my house.
Karla shows up for school, we start talking about life in general...
Cigarette woman starts walking across the street on our side of the street,
Old man crosses to our side of the street, "S'cuse me miss, may I have a light"
Tim & Karla continue talking...
Old man get's light from cigarette woman, both proceed to walk towards pies & pints
Old man coughs... and continues to cough... old man vomits!
Tim & Karla, "WTF?!?!?!?!?!"
Old man continues walking down the street, stopping occasionally to puke
Tim & Karla continue talking...
Old man walking back towards us... "Stupid fucking mormons, find my bus pass, now I lose my wallet, fucking mormons" and pretends shooting at the side of the street

Commentary:
I have no idea where the drunk old man with no wallet came from or why he hates mormons, but I can't wait to move off this street

Story 2:
Wake up at 6:40 this morning for a run around greenlake.
Get back from greenlake, Chris is up, and downstairs,
I check my computer and have been logged out of IM, weird,
Check the internet, nothing, no connection,
Look at the router + Cable modem, no power,
"Chris, do you have power?"
"Oh no, umm, do you have any fuses? I guess the power grid didn't like that I put a single setting bulb in my triple setting lamp and blew power to my bedroom."
"No, I don't have any fuses"

Yeah, with Chris, he's "interesting" For the past few weeks he's been painting in his room every night. This of course gives me a headache which is ALWAYS fun. Anyway, ladies, if you think you want a handy man boyfriend, just make sure you know what you're getting into:)

Laters-
Tim

a little distraction

2005-05-24T09:08:00.000-07:00

A little distraction...

They say that it's a game and that I'm a playa,
They say the goal is to not fall in love,
I thought I was in control,
I knew we didn't have much in common,
But I thought my love would suffice,
I made her my life,
She never loved me,

I drink to forget, I drink to be friendly,
I drink to be outgoing, I drink alot,

Then I met her, I know she's married,
I know I shouldn't flirt,
I know that there's a sacred bond I am not respecting,
but the distraction is nice, the feeling of being someone that people want to chat with, the feeling of desire,
so I flirt back, I don't know that it's wrong, I don't have absolutes,
I used to...

There was a time when I was saving myself for marriage,
There was a time when I believed love just happened,
There was a time I believed that once in a relationship I would be totally satisfied,
instead it turned out to bring in my self doubt, it makes me hurt,

So it's time for 1 more drink and 1 more day of trying to forget her.

Thank you for your distractions-
Tim

the introspective fool

2005-05-23T16:52:00.000-07:00

It's weird. I'm weird. Why are the 2 feelings I have for my "ex" love and hate? Why am I always thinking about what might have been? Why can't I just say "Fuck you" and forget about her? Why do I have to be sitting here thinking about everything and nothing? Why can't I find love?

I realized last night that I am not really outgoing. I am more about working on myself and more of a loner/introvert than a social climber/partying/extrovert.

I'm sure my introvertedness is part of the reason I've only kissed 3 girls. Maybe my "ex" gave me the self assuredness for a little while, but then she told me to get the fuck out. I think that could be the reason why I hate. I'm not one to easily let my walls down and let people see the real me. I'm shy, I'm introverted, I'm not the one who makes all your friends comfortable, but once I am assured that they won't hurt me I CAN open up.

*sigh*

*hugs*
-Tim

relationships are hard

2005-05-22T21:51:00.000-07:00

It's weird being friends with girls. Especially when the girls are really attractive. Anyway, had a dream about the ex last night. Did I tell you that our basic last correspondence was a "fuck off" from both sides of the camp?

Anyway, it's weird having my heart broken and stuff. It's like I want it to be healed but I also don't want to be the asshole guy that only wants his own needs met. I don't want to use people.

I know, I know. I tend to rant on here. I tend to be a little meloncholy on here, and although I'm quiet in real life, I'm hopefully not this meloncholy.

Hopefully :) Anyway, I saw this play today: Bach in Liepzig, it was awesome!

Catch you later-
Tim

a lovely bunch of booth babes...

2005-05-20T02:23:00.000-07:00

So here I am. A fairly handsome (allright I'm at least working on it) 27 yr old man in las angeles. I spend most of my days going to a conference about video games and taking pictures of booth babes. As one guy put it, "It doesn't get any better than prostitutes and video games."

Anyway, It's 2:30am. I'll see you guys in seattle-
Tim

so tired...

2005-05-18T23:03:00.000-07:00

Well, it's only 11pm, but I'm exhausted. I was in line from about 10am - 11:30am. I am the navigator for my car, so that's fun, but my driver is a little crazy, which is good, because everyone in LA is crazy.

OK, I hope everyone is good. I'm off to sleep. Tomorrow is starwars.
Laters-
Tim

bring on the booth babes

2005-05-17T10:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm off to e3 tonight. Due to my grammie dying last week, I will not be working the show, which is just fine by me. I will be taking plenty of photos and be learning about the new video games:) I hope everyone is doing well and has a good week. I'll hopefully get some time on the LA beach later this week:) Anyway, I'm off.

Catch you on the flip side-
Tim

sleepy drunk

2005-05-15T23:12:00.000-07:00

So today was the baseball game. It was fun. I went running around greenlake and I walked around the Safeco field. Tomorrow is dinner, at least I think it is. Then tuesday I fly off to LA. I'm emotionally and physically spent. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do right now, so I'm just going to work hard and do my best. As far as romance is concerned, I have no idea.

Anyway, I'm off to sleep. Have a great night-
Tim

back in seattle...

2005-05-14T23:53:00.000-07:00

So the drive back was un-eventful. I'm trying to decide whether or not a female housemate is a good or bad idea right now. I know that the more I hang out with someone the more attractive they become.

Anyway, I need to sleep. Sorry this is so short. Thanks for all the love today. You guys rock-
Tim

a little white trash...

2005-05-13T21:15:00.000-07:00

So I know a little bit of my family history. It's weird seeing the old photos and knowing that the whole life cycle is all repetitive. It's weird hearing about the men my grammie dated and how I'm similar and different from them.

I've come to realize that my life has been altered from me losing my virginity. I know that I will always be changed by her and know that there's not much I can do about my personal feelings. She says I don't respect her, which may be true. I have no concept of how I interact with others. Although I knew this time last year that I would someday be in the position that I'm in now. I saw it in all her ex-boyfriends, and I saw it in me. An unrequited love. This will somehow overshadow my love life for a while. How can I possibly ask someone to love me when I don't know if I can be totally in love with them? How'd they say in that old song? 'The first cut is the deepest'? Damn, that sucks....

And then there's the dilemma, do I switch? Do I take what I can get and f*ck the rest? Do I continue to care about "her" feelings? Do I harden my shell and become less sensitive?

I don't think I would ever do that. I'm sorry that I had to go through it. Thank you for your time-
Tim

xbox 360 and old people

2005-05-12T22:57:00.000-07:00

So today was about as fun as eye surgery. Tomorrow looks to be about as fun. Today we met with Grammie's painting group. The old guy, Schooly, is a total prick. He totally bitched out my mom the other day and he's as gruff as ever. The rest of the day was spent cleaning out my grammie's house.

Anyway, tonight my uncle gets into town. He's another man that will soon be out of our life forever, which is good. He's a pedophile. Fucking Asshole, mutherfucker. Ugh. And then people wonder why I'm so scared of commiting to a family. Considering my mom's family.

Anyway, only 2 more days. I'm off to bed.
Peace-
Tim

In Corvallis

2005-05-11T00:10:00.000-07:00

Well, I've made it to the hometown of my mother. It seems my grammie had been deteriorating for a while. The letter she left my mom mentions how she didn't want us to know about her failing health and how the body is to be cremated before we see it.

We're not sure when the memorial service will be, friday or saturday. My uncle will be coming into town on thursday, so that's something. It looks as though my cousins probably won't be here as my uncle is estranged from them.

The trip down here was uneventful. I listened to my ipod most of the time and as always thought. It's at times like that when I remember the good times I've had over the past few years. I think about the people in my life and how I really appreciate them.

You guys are the best. My heartfelt thanks goes out to you. Seriously, if we could go on a cruise together, that'd be the best thing ever. Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen.

Anyway, it's late and I need to sleep.
Take care-
Tim

she didn't want us to know

2005-05-10T01:21:00.000-07:00

She's been dying for a while. She's been sick, but told her neighbor/caretaker not to tell us. She didn't want to upset our lives. It would have been nice to see her one last time. Evidentally the letter she left for my uncle was far from nice. Tomorrow my mom will meet with the lawyer to see what the will says. My mom has been unable to get ahold of my uncle.

And then they wonder why I have relationship problems.

I tried to play the good host today. But I failed miserably. Between the reminder that I was not a friend, and the fact that my grammie passed away, I was far less than hospitable.

Now again I am plagued by a restless nights sleep.

Peace be with you.
Tim

PS- maybe it's time for a refresher course on Tim's religion, but we'll save that for another post...

run, don't walk...

2005-05-09T23:13:00.000-07:00

it seems like I can't be any good for anyone right now. You'd best run and hide.

Don't look at me.I'm hideous right now. I see love and run away. I see pain and run towards. I see heartache and long for it. I see simple joy and love and run away.

I fear rejection and place my heart away. I see a dim hope and crush it.

I crucify my savior and know only the hollowness of regret. I seek comfort and find only pain and suffering. I long for understanding, hope, love, patience, peace, and spew out only pain, suffering, guild, judgement, despair, and impatience.

There is no pleasure in this pit of whatever this is.

Dear god release me from desire, release me from pain. Let my family know all that is good in everything that they do. Let me not deliver pain to those that are my friends and family. Let those that desire not my friendship to be forgotten from me.

Let me not be scared of love and run and hide from it. Don't let me see this pain as the end to every love. Don't let me scare off those I could cherish. Let me see what it is that you desire in me and let me know your love.

Your lost lamb-
Tim

when will I learn...

2005-05-09T22:22:00.000-07:00

friendship is a two way street. If one side of the street isn't working, then there's no use sending information to the other end.

Anyway, I now remember the rejection, the uselessness, the painfulness, the lovelessness, so that's a nice feeling with everything else.

-Tim

shallow emptiness, sighing, panting, hurting, lying, wanting

2005-05-09T17:08:00.000-07:00

It seems my grammie has passed away. My mom's mom was always a good woman even if she couldn't remember that I was her grandson and not just her son.

My mom is understandably quite distressed. There was no warning. Grammie just faded in the night. It's weird as I haven't seen her in years, but sometimes it's fine as long as you know someone is alive and walking around out there.

It's weird the aching that I'm feeling right now. Sometimes I wish I could be the guy that could just go have sex with a stranger and not worry about the ramifications. Not worry about what the person thought of me. Have the distraction of sexual release. Know that dammit, that pain in the heart hurts, but at least I'm not alone right now.

I can't find my mom. They turn their cellphone off. I sent out an email asking for prayer and support, but really I just want to be held dammit.

Please distract me-
Tim

PS- for some reason that song "You don't always get what you want" is going through my head.

train

2005-05-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

Taking the train to oregon was both fun and eventful. On the way down to oregon the central control center (located in Dallas/Ft. Worth area) lost connection to the switches and we were stopped at every switch between Tacoma and Olympia.

Last night, the train ride home was going along fine, until the train in front of us hit someone. We were stuck just outside of Tacoma until 12:20am. Our train was supposed to enter seattle at 9:45pm, but after much delay arrived at the king st station at 1:30am.

I always think it's interesting when the most private of thoughts are presented on the blog. Sexual escapades and what not. I guess I'm just a prude or something.

Anyway, I need to get back to work.
Peace-
Tim

am I asking too much?

2005-05-08T00:26:00.000-07:00

I finally broke down and offered my congratulations to the ex today, for getting to go to antarctica in the fall. We didn't talk, but did exchange voicemails.

She informed me that she will be going with a new male friend that she's been hanging out with for the past few months. Sincerely, I am happy for her. I am glad she has found someone that she can share that with, because in all honesty, I was not that man. When I think back to our relationship I think about how we really didn't have that much in common. I mean, I did change because of her, but never in the way that would make us long term lovers.

I suppose I should not dwell on the past, but it CAN stop me from repeating my mistakes. It can also give me early warning signs. although, I'm still not certain if I should avoid all pitfalls? Is it better to go from relationship to relationship, or to wait out for someone you fall in love with?

Is there something fundamentally wrong with going home with someone you meet at a bar, having awesome sex, and then never seeing them again? Am I the kind of guy that could do that? Should I have upper and lower morale boundaries?

Well, this is me in oregon. Please leave a note, as I am a comment whore:) Also, Orlando Bloom's nipples are off to the side. I know, because I saw kingdom of heaven.

Peace-
Tim

bad control

2005-05-06T01:02:00.000-07:00

so these past 2 days I realized that I have had some really bad control. I need to spend more time excercising everyday if I'm going to eat at pies & pints.

Seriously after the nachos at the baseball game, I was at 340, and then tonight after pies & pints I was at 280 :(

So I stayed up till 1am and have gotten back down to norMAL (aka 140)

Sadness-
Tim

6:50am on a wednesday...

2005-05-04T06:49:00.000-07:00

I'm having my second PT (physical therapy) on my knee today. So that should be exciting. That's at 8am in Redmond, so I have a few minutes.

Updates:
We've determined that although we said we liked Miss Saigon, we've all changed our minds and determined that it was the company of friends that we liked the best and Miss Saigon had no real character attachments for us.

Big A got tix for today's baseball game, so I'll be leaving work at 2:45 for that. Oh and it turns out the tix are in the 8th row and we should have free beer and food or something like that.

I realized the other day that my first "girlfriend" no longer wants to be my friend of any sort. It's weird when you are friends with someone and then they decide that they don't want to be your friend anymore, but you still want to be their friend. That one hurts a little. It's like, thanks for thinking I'm not worth knowing. *sigh*

Anyway, seriously, I need to not let it bother me. It's her loss if she doesn't want to be my friend. I know I'm a fun person to hang out with and I'm always up for something.

Ok, I need to go get my leg massaged.
Peace out-
Tim

PS- check out the new photo of me over on my photoblog

asleep by 12...

2005-05-01T22:10:00.000-07:00

so for the past 2 nights I've been staying up till like 4am playing World of Warcraft. Tonight, I need to go to sleep at around 12 I think. The whole, bed at 2am, awake at 7am got really old last week.

Anyway, Family guy just had it's first show of the new season, so that was fun.

.......

Ahh... the "draft"... it's approximately 7:51 am now and I'm finishing up this blog-action. Anyway, I DID end up getting to bed by around 12 last night which I thought was pretty good. Although, right now I'm totally tired:( My friend Kim is on her way over with Coffee to drive me to work though, so that'll be nice.

This internet thing is weird but I'm glad it came about. Anyway, I'm off to work.
Tim

insomnia is for the strong...

2005-04-29T01:34:00.000-07:00

or was it the weak?

It's 1:38am. I should be asleep. I need to be asleep. Instead, I am here. Blogging.

I had a World of Warcraft Guild party at the pies & pints tonight. It was fun to see all my coworkers and friends getting along so well.

Seriously guys, I <3 pies & pints. The staff rocks and the pies are always tasty. Anyway, Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy comes out today and I'll be seeing it at the Pacific Place 11.

I hope you all are doing well and I'll catch you later. I'm off to bed.
Tim

missing the touch

2005-04-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

It's weird. Getting changed from friend to whatever the hell this is. Acquantance? Random guy that gets email every 2 - 4 weeks? Random guy that is still trying to be her friend, but she doesn't want to encourage anything like that so she'll just ignore any emails?

Seriously, I don't know why I even try. I think Peter was probably right. He told me I was actually no different to her than he is, and from everything I've seen I can't see any difference. I defended her. I thought it would be different for me.

Oh well, another friend bites the dust. It'll be better once I move. Once I'm no longer near any of her friends. I think that'll help anyway.

In other news, I'm going to see Miss Saigon tonight with some of the local kids from Pies & Pints. We're hitting the McCormick & Schmicks happy hour first and then off to the playhouse. It should be rather fun.

Also, I started my first Physical Therapy on my knee today, so that was fun. Nothing special happened to it. I just can't sit with it bent at 90 degrees for any length of time. So Physical therapy and anti inflammatories. It should be all good.

Anyway, I'm off to eat some lunch.
Peace out-
Tim

happy 420... alright I'm a little late... :P

2005-04-21T01:19:00.000-07:00

So last night at 9:30 I get a phone call... 'Tim, I hurt my knee playing soccer. Can you take me to the emergency room.' So I end up in the waiting room from about 10:30 - 1:30 while my friend is getting his knee checked out.

Turns out it was a sprained knee. Anyway, I'm still sick, but was able to spend all day at work today and even play lots of WoW tonight,

I seem to be in flux right now. Closing some friendships. Developing others. Discovering old friends. And remembering the occasional blogging buddy that stops by. Thanks racheal & Quinntessence. Your words help :)

Well, I'm going to try and sleep the sleep of the sore throated and tired.
Peace-
Tim

closure

2005-04-19T18:16:00.000-07:00

the party ended with a girl yelling at my housemate. She was pretty distraught.

Turns out she was pretty wasted. She ended up making out with this guy who told her she needed more practice. She was pretty upset understandably.

Anyway, all I hear is "Get away from me" and "leave me alone" and "I live here. I'm friends with Tim"

I hate when the parties end on a sour note like that. It seems she's ok now, at least that's what reanne said. Or at least she will be ok.

Anyway, I saw the doctor about my knee this morning. He's prescribed some physical therapy. So hopefully that'll help.

Well, 1 week from Miss Saigon. Anyway, I need to get some rest.
Peace-
Tim

No one sits like this rock sits...

2005-04-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

You rock rock. I heart 'I heart huckabees'.

I am home sick today. Also, for those in the know Ben & Jerry's is having free cone day today. So go to Ben & Jerry's today and find a local free ice cream cone.

Anyway, I'm melting and hot and sick and hot and warm and tired and exhausted. I hope everyone is having a good day. I'll catch you later-
Tim