Responsibility

I often wonder what makes me want to be so responsible. It seems that if I wanted I COULD get away with not working for long periods of time and maybe just live off the state for a while (see step-sister)

But instead, I want to succeed in a career. I want to be praised by my coworkers and stand out in the minds of my bosses. I want to be desired for full time employment at the risk of sabotaging personal friendships at work.

I don't understand who I am, nor why I have an overwhelming sense of responsibility for a job that I could just as easily lose next week.