a sad reality

I was eavesdropping on my housemates friend tonight. She's going through a breakup (went through?) and it was sad to hear my words coming out of her mouth. The "What do you mean right now? Does that mean later?" questions, and the "overall acceptance that nothing may ever change so I should move on" talk.

It made me sad to know that's what I sound like when I talk to my friends. And it made me sad to know that I need to give up loving "her".

I've been thinking about the roles "loved" vs "lover". I think it is harder to be the lover than it is to be the loved. As a friend was saying, The father, no matter how traumatized his psyche was by the child birth, will never feel the pain that the mother felt. So it is for the loved and the lover. The lover will always feel more pain from rejected love, than the loved will feel from rejecting the love. At least that's the way it seems to work.

I got off early tonight, but I had nothing planned, so I watched my roommates play video games, and tried to fix my old computer. (Bad Hard drive, won't reformat :P ) Now it's 11 and I NEED to sleep.

Talk to you all soon, Peace-
T