Being you

It's amazing how we can get caught up with who we want to be with, before deciding who we are. I think that you can not change who you are so much than to grow to be someone else. The point being that being comfortable with who you are, and respecting yourself will make you attractive to others(love wise anyway)

Sometimes I think I am a total asshole that nobody would like (work has a way of turning you into the enemy when you'd just as happily surf the internet like your compatriots) or a "nice" guy that nobody wants to sleep with.

I know that I'm a nice guy, but I have a tendency to at least try to hit rock bottom as Chuck would say. I'm torn between the slacker that I could be and the responsible man/boy that I am.

I know that I'm cute, but I never come off as overly confident when talking to women, which I KNOW is not a turn on. It's the great mystery. Wanting sex, but playing at that you don't want it.

I do miss sex. Masturbation just isn't the same as getting it on. I know that not all of you might realize this, but I have lost that sacred virginity thing a while ago :O

Anyway, it's not like I'm looking at just wanting sex. It's the whole relationship that would be nice. I want to be desired and fulfill that desire in someone else.

Please note: In case you can't tell I'm still working 70/hr work weeks and have NO time to pursue a full on relationship. As I thought of it tonight, my life is a big canvas of grey, where I have no need to leave work, but I see the rainbow at the end of the tunnel and long for that day when I'll have my accrued earnings and no job:)

Here's to new friends and old enemies-
Peace-
The T