wandering...

Here I sit, with my "pajamas" on. Wondering, wandering, looking, wanting a "soul mate". I lust and love and desire. I dream and scheme and hope. I am scared and smell old age and death sniffing at my heels. I fear the loneliness.

My room is clean. In more ways than it has been in a LONG time. I enjoy my roommates. They are good people. I am lonely, but not desperate. I seek love in the most complacent way of seeking. If it comes along and bites me in the face, I could probably go for it. Otherwise I am fine in my lonely walk. I need to self improve and work on my social skills. I need to go out and meet people and make friends. I need to go on a road trip and a plane trip and get away.

I need to read. I need to cook. I need to love and lust and be. I need to be understood and be able to love. I need to be able to romance and I need to be appreciated. I need to have long walks at night and I need to talk. I want to listen and understand. I want to be part of the human condition. I want to grow and see and learn.

I need to leave. I need to stay.

I have closed 1 credit card accounts in good standing. only 5 more to go.

I need to sleep.

Peace-
T