I just first want to say this:

Your advice on not waiting for someone to pursue me or me waiting to make a move until I know their is interest on their part is very good advice. I just wanted to make it clear that this is not a code of conduct I follow, and it is not "self-advice." I realize that's it's not a good way of going about things, and I am being honest with myself and you guys when I said I have this problem. It just seemed to be me like you guys were trying to convince me my reasoning was all wrong when I had just told you that it was. I started to see that this and many others things including my self-esteem deficiency and "avoidance" as just symptoms of bigger problem. This is why I dropped out of SPU and am kind of laying low right now because I didn't want to waste what could be great years in college. Just taking some time to check out the situation.

In response to the love thing not being selfish here's my rebutal: You're all wrong.... Yup everyone of ya. Well I gotta go catch y'all later!

Okay, maybe I better explain my stance here. I think you are under the impression that when I say Love is selfish, that I mean "bad". This is not the case though, and what I mean is this. Can you really say that anything you do is not a selfish act in some form or another? Can you really think of anything you would choose to do is selfless? Cliff you say that their are up and down times in a relationship, but in the end you choose to stay in the relationship. Why? Because it is a situation you want to be in. It does something for you that gives you the desire to see that it continues. Even if it's a relationship of complete servitude, it is not selfless because you would not do it unless it did something for you, even if that is just the warm/gooey feeling that you get when helping someone. If you choose to do it you believe that it's in your own best interest to do so. So anyway, I don't really think just because something is selfish means it's wrong. Frankly I don't believe in such a thing as right and wrong, now if any of you would like to question that one, I'll certainly try and rise to the challenge.

(By the way when I say right and wrong, I mean more evil vs. good. Right vs. Wrong could be confused as whether something is the most efficient means to an end. I mean it more as the universal law type.)

(And just so y'all don't think I'm talking about this "love" stuff without any personal experience in the matter, I had a very long "loving" one and a half year relationship a few years back. So I do know the difference between "love" and lust. Just had to get that off my chest. I just got the impression from both Cliff and Kev that you think I have no clue what I'm talking about.)