My new stuff

Hey Everyone-

I'm working on my C# skills now. I have hope again of becoming an SDET and maybe even a full on SDE someday, but for now, I'm working on my C# skills. I'm kind of stoked about it.

I'm still running every other day and am losing weight, so that is good. I'm still looking for a place to live, but my schedule at work has been throwing wrenches into the housing search. I wish I had time to program at work, but for now, I'm going to run some more automation stuff.

Peace-
Tim

my spot on the wall

As I walk up to you, I start to think of rivers,
I think of waterfalls and places with brooks and forests,
I look down to make sure everything is pointed in the right direction,
I avoid eye contact to the man on my right,
I'm nervous, you are reluctant,
Then relief, my body sighs, I am empty
I retreat to wash my hands.

Peace-
T

Ode to the sun

OH sun, how do I miss thee, let me count the ways,
I miss thee in the morning, while I'm at my desk regressing,
I miss thee at the lunchtime, when the cafeteria is loud,
I miss thee mostly in the evenings, when I'm back in the room of no windows,
I miss thee because my job is to stay indoows while you are out.

Missing the sun, and rain, and all things that are natural.
From my dark manufactured office where I spend 14 hours a day.
Peace-
T

love revisited

So I was thinking about how our parents love us. We can never fully reciprocate that love as we will never feel the same hope for a future as our parents see in us.

Your parents put all their love and hope in you, which becomes suffocating. You have to flee the nest and they hope that you make them proud.

When love is not a 2-way street it becomes burdensome and irritating.
Well, time to work.
Peace-
T

ahh... running

I'm going to pick up Cliff from the airport tonight. I don't know if I should tell him that I went running this morning. I feel like I cheated on him a little ;)

Well, I woke at 6:00am this morning, as well as numerous other times of the night. My alarm was set for 6:45. So I ran around greenlake and got home by 7:30ish. Not a bad way to start the day :)

I spent 9 hours here yesterday. That was "nice" and I may be doing OT again next weekend. We'll have to see.

Peace-
T

who needs sleep?

It's 1am, and evidentally I don't need sleep. Although I am exhausted, I can't seem to fall asleep. It could be do to the sweltering heat, or the fact that I just got home from a rowdy night of board games. I need to figure out what I'm doing in my life. I know I am a hard worker, and can excell at any given task, it's just I need to decide what that task will be. Also, I need to decide if I want to sell my car.

Well, now is not the time to decide these things. I'm going to bed.
Peace-
T

another day, another beheading in the middle east

Here I sit in my safe little house. Far from Terrorist threat. Far from any danger really. I mean, I'm a 26 yr old man that lives in a fairly safe residential area of Seattle. There aren't many people that would come attack me or go on a killing spree in my neighborhood. At least I don't think so.

Anyway, this world is pretty messed up. I mean, I live in a world of car accidents and dentistry, when half way around the world, they're beheading people to try and get other murderers out of prison. How is it that you think kidnapping people will get your leaders to be released? I mean, I guess terrorist is a good name. You think that using the terror of what you'll do will cause people to do what you want? Or are you even trying to get people to convert to your religion? Or is it merely a reason to kill?

I realize that I don't understand you. Sometimes I wish I could talk to you and make you understand love.

Peace, from a man in turmoil-
T

hot hot hot

So it was the same temperature in my room this morning as when I went to bed last night. Which means I slept with no covers on all night and didn't get cold at all. I am SO looking forward to moving to a cooler room.

OK, well I need to go work now.
Peace-
T

women and love

My friend recently told me about a friend of hers who is getting married. It seems that the guy wanted to marry her after the 3rd date, but that freaked her out. So he cooled things off and she eventually came around.

Things like that make me wonder if I should give up or go down fighting, especially if a girl is like, "I don't know". I often will disappear for a time and then come back and see what's up, but that NEVER works out. When you cut off communication it's a lot easier to get over someone. You quit thinking about them and caring as much.

Anyway, I think it's funny that he was ready to get married way before she was, and that she was able to be won over. Or maybe she just got freaked because she thought it should take longer. Or maybe because she wasn't ready to settle down yet. Or maybe because she thought he wasn't the ONE. Or maybe because she felt something better might come along.

I have no idea why she didn't want to get married, but now she does. She may be tohe only person that knows the true feelings. But it's kind of romantic.

Anyway, I need to work on writing my short story/autobiography of the early years.
Peace-
T

God?!?!

If there is a God, then I think the religions may have it all wrong. I think that God must have created woman first. I think they(God, genderless plural) must have taken the bottle of beauty and the bottle of Grace and poured almost the entire contents into woman. Then when they saw what a great job they'd done, they decided to make man. But they didn't have as much beauty or grace to use on the second model. So they made up for it with fat and muscle and clumsiness. This ended up with the male model so prevalent in today's society.

Anyway, I was thinking about that as I was walking home from the park tonight and thinking about out more fair, pleasant looking sex.

I think that's all I have to say about that.
Peace-
T

more sleep = less sore

So I didn't go running this morning. I'm moving xboxes around all day and will need my strength for lifting and walking.

I just found out my step sister is pregnant again. This'll be her 5th, but now my other stepsister won't be able to catch up (since she had the whole blood clot thing last birth).

DRAMA!!!

Well, nothin much new in my life. Just busy with work and reading and writing.

Peace-
T

Sore!

OH my GOD!!!

It hurts to walk, and it hurts to breathe. So I'm just going to sit here and not breathe. If that doesn't work, I'll just 'walk it off' as coach used to say.

Day 2 of running around greenlake has proven to me that I should have never stopped running as I am completely sore after today's 2.8 jog. Well, 3 more days and then I'll take the weekend off.

I started eating salads for lunch. Yesterday's rang up at 1.95 and it was totally yummy. We'll see how today's goes.

Peace-
T

running and stuff

So my whole buy shoes plan failed miserably today. But I have made some plans. I'm going to start running with Cliff in the mornings and try to stick to a salad lunch plan. I bought atkins bars for my snacks today. So I should be able to survive on the salad lunch, until dinner. But I need to go to sleep now as I have to get up at 6:45 :P

I hope everyone is doing good and I'll try and write soon.
Peace-
T

new shoes and stuff

So I'm hopefully going to be getting new shoes tomorrow. I would very much like to get new shoes as the ones I have right now have holes in the soles.

I've had some insights recently that I've been wanting to share with my general public but I've been busy, so here it goes.

Insight #1: Most jerk men aren't jerks to the women they're courting. In fact, some jerks will not be jerks to the women in their lives, just to other men. However, for some it will eventually shine through to all their relationships, no matter how much they care about others.

Insight #2: Some people don't care about anyone outside of themselves. This goes for most people, I presume, but it is still a bit surprising for me.

Insight #3: Birth and Death are all relative (and death is much more lonely than birth). Today I had dinner with 2 pregnant women and 1 woman knocking on death's door. The woman that is close to death was scary to look at and see what the future held for us all. I don't know what I'm trying to say, except that it was a very interesting lunch with an interesting crowd.

Insight #4: to get rid of skid marks, a man must shave his ass. (I actually found this out by reading craigslist a long while ago, but have yet to test it)

OK, I'm going to go to sleep-
Peace-
Tim

Who needs sleep?

I just wanted to give a shout out to all my adoring fans. I've been busy working this week, so my updates have been few and far between. For that, I apologize....

I have been taking the bus home, while I still have my bus pass. The powers that be have decided that contractors who have always gotten the bus pass privilege will now be denied. Another way to keep the separation of FTEs and CS. Sometimes I just want to run through the halls yelling, "CS are people too!!!" But I'm sure that would get me fired.

We're hoping that Mike's kid doesn't come tonight, we're getting him the hunger team aqua force season 1 DVD.

Well, I'm sleepy, catch ya later-
T

Singles websites :P

I keep getting spammed with all these "Find your true love here" emails in my junk mail folder. I think that there's probably a lot of money out there to be made off singles that are so socially awkward they're paying a website to help them find a match. (OK, OK, I have done the eharmony stuff in the past)

I don't know what I'm saying, maybe that there's lots of single folks out there and if they were out having fun, they might meet each other, instead of sitting at home in front of their computers...
But really I'm just full of shit...
Peace-
T

mmm... goodness

For some reason I am not tired this morning. I had some weird dreams last night. I dreamt that I emailed Cassie and they were like, Tim I'm sorry, but I've been dating someone for the past month or so. It was so weird cause the email was just like, hey how's it going?

Anyway, I went to bed at 11:45 last night and today I'm surprising refreshed. Although I did wake up several times last night from bad dreams. The one above and another one.

Anyway, I need to get to work.
Peace-
T

I killed it

I've killed the ponderingpool.blogspot.com

I think everyone was tired of writing, and it didn't blossom into anything beautiful, so I had to put it down.

I don't think I'm getting enough sleep at night. I know I'm exhausted right now, and should sleep, but my room is SO hot!!! :P

Anyway, I had some more to rant about, but I forget. Too hot, too tired.

Peace-
T

mmm sleep

Well here it is, monday morning. I'm sleepy.

My weekend was very busy. The Harry Potter movie was good. I'm starting to read my next book, "Lightning" by Dean Koontz. Interesting quote in the book, "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; wile loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

Anyway, I should get back to work, sleepily-
tim

Love is such an awesome thing

Love can give you the ability to do the things you never thought you could. Love is able to have you take chances and give flight to new ideas more readily than any other form of hypnotics or drug. Love makes you want to be someone that is an image of what the person you love wants. Love can inspire you to learn a foreign language or take up scuba diving. Love can take your fears and throw them out the window. Love is such an awesome thing.

Fun with nate

I met my friends nate and kara and Dave G for dinner tonight. I haven't seen Nate & Kara for about half a year. This is something I am working on reversing.

Anyway, I started putting my "new" computer together last night. So that was exciting. My parents are coming into town tomorrow and then I'm going paintballing on saturday with Jarred. I've been able to keep my life pretty busy.

I think part of it may have to do with the fact that I'm trying not to slow down and feel too much. A friend recently told me that scorpios are moody and/or have mood swings. I could see that.

Anyway, I'm sleeping-
T

angsty angst

So here I am writing again.

I don't know what's going on in me. I have been here before, or have I? I have a strange sense of wandering again, but also of soul searching and longing. I recognize myself and think of who I want to be and who I want to help. I am re-arranging myself to be financially more stable.

All this thinking is fun, but I think I should start reading again. I've started walking home from my boss' house everynight, so that is good exercise. (30+ blocks or so)

I want to get in better shape, but I think I need to find someone to inspire me to get out a little more often, and maybe take up jogging with me. We'll see.

Anyway, I'm sleepy, catch you later-
T

playmate wanted

I am currently looking for a playmate to help get me out of the house. I would like to find a friend that is willing to go out, even late at night. Someone that I could call whenever I felt like it and she wouldn't feel perturbed. Preferably someone that is cute. Someone that can keep up an intelligent conversation and will call me on my bullshit. Help me expand my horizons and teach me a thing or two.

I'm audi 5000-
T

The Truth about Blind Dates

Another Craigslist best of. I really enjoyed the Truths this article revels in.

The Truth about Blind Dates

I AM A BANANA!

I had a spectacular weekend. I think I did everything new under the sun. I went to folklife and watched belly dancing. I went to a concert and had some black russians. I went to Golden Gardens and walked around. I went to a dog park and watched the dogs play. I saw a movie, Supersize Me. I ate some pho and some Mr. Lee's Asian Restaurant. I went to Alki Beach and walked to boardwalk. I took multiple photos. I talked to Jay about a short film entitled "rejected".

My friend left for Hawaii today. She is going to see her sister and was going for the birth of her neice which happened a month early, yesterday. I think that would be frustrating.

Well, I'm sure she'll have fun and now I have to work again.

Lost in my sea of uncertainty-
Tim