life as a meal...

Today started with a nice dish of rally, followed by breakfast and hoofing it through ballard! (Tomorrow promises something very similar) This was followed by a moving day with Dan & squish which ended at the early hour of 8pm. I promptly drove to Oaktree and found that Team America had JUST started and bought a ticket.

I'm currently feeling forlorn and exhausted. I am SO sleeping in tomorrow. Now if my damn laundry would get done!!!Maybe I should set my alarm for 12(new time) and just go move my laundry.

Then new Elliot Smith is hot. Sad to think there won't be another :( Working on finding a tattoo sent me here. Thanks dharma!

Well, I need to sleep.
Peace-
T

game night & election weekend

We had a house board game night last night. It was really fun. Scattergories and Trivial Pursuit!!!

Today is filled with moveon.org stuff and helping friends move. Oh and laundry! Tomorrow is more door to door stuff with moveon.org and then off to cliff's for a house warming.

Only 1 week and some odd days till halo 2, in the mean time, don't forget to vote :)

Well, I'm off to a rally!
Peace-
T

tattoos and the abyss

So I'm supposed to get a tattoo with Cliff sometime soon. I have no idea what I want to get. Maybe I'll just get a connect the dots print with all my freckles. I think that would be silly though. Maybe just numbers under the big ones ;)

I have this silly fear that I'll be alone forever, or maybe just for a long while. I think part of it could stem from my not getting out of the house more often. Maybe I'll go to Pies & Pints on saturday... Maybe I should do SOMETHING!!!

It looks like I'm going to try to convince people to vote on saturday & possibly sunday, so that's exciting! Although the southpark guys from last night were great.

Anyway, I need to sleep.
Peace-
Tim

*sigh*

satisfaction is never guaranteed.

Anyway, here we are, a new season of southpark. I'm not studying very well tonight. I've actually done almost no studying and it's almost time for me to hit the hay.

I did get sent to this cool vision test. Where I found out I wasn't color blind. It was pretty enlightening to see what you would see if you were color blind.

Anyway, I SHOULD be studying, so I'm going to go attempt that now.
Peace-
T

life and the rest of it...

So I'm blogging instead of studying for the next 15 minutes. We're almost getting done with the clean up process, but we're taking a break to test tomorrow. So the cleanup of the labs is being put on hold.

I am currently looking at C++ coding questions!!! and asking friends and family for help.

Anyway, I got the gmail notifier, so I don't have to keep logging into gmail to see that I haven't gotten any new messages:(

OK, also, when is hotmail going to upgrade my account for free? They said they would do it this fall. isn't it fall yet?

anyway, I need to get back to studying!
Peace-
Tim

damn buses

So I am SO IN LOVE with this damn iPod!!! I heart iPods.

Speaking of hearting things... I heart huckabees is a very excellent movie. I highly recommend it to my reading audience ;) It has some great scenes and deals with different approaches to this life.

Also, I started studying for the interview. It's good to remember the love of programming.

This morning's attempt at riding the bus to work was foiled when the bus was a whopping 15 minutes late!!! Cahlen and I decided his car would hold up just fine. So we had him drive since I have a flat tire.

Anyway, off to study for a few more minutes.

Listening to Hardin Wouldn't Run, by Johnny Cash

Peace-
T

and then it came again

Kevin and Jenny's wedding was beautiful. I really enjoyed when the pastor shared the top 10 things they liked about each other. I think Kevin and Jenny are the type of people that can make a marriage last. There are some that I know will not, and that makes me sad.

I hate being a predictable guy. I try to be unpredictable and uncaring, but I think I get all mooshy and predictable=boring, when I get attracted to a girl. I think also that the person that said, he who loves less, controls the relationship. I don't remember who said it, but it makes sense.

I got a 40GB iPod this weekend. I currently have 8.7 GB of music on it. with 4.8 days worth of music.

I have 2 weeks to refresh my programming, algebra, and testing skills. Then the SDET test extraordinaire.

I'm concerned and I am having trouble seeing the path to take.

Also, I'm horny. These things in combo, don't add up correctly.

Seeing everyone at the wedding was good. I guess we're having a re-union in february. That'll be fun.

Anyway, I'm riding the bus tomorros, so I need to go sleep now.

Peace-
T

oregon weddings

Well, I'm off to Oregon. I have my new dress up clothes and my directions for the bachelor party.

I'm going to be interviewing for an open SDET position, but I'm nervous as all hell. I know Harold wants me on his team, but Zach would be my boss, and he's hella hard to read.

The doctor says I'm perfectly fine. So that's good. My head is aching, and I'm hoping that goes away by the time I get down to Vancouver. Also, I'm hoping to make it on time to the bachelor party. So I need to get going.

I hope everyone is good.
Peace-
Tim

I live on a chain...

My whole life is in flux right now. I have stress coming out of my ears. I look left and I look right. I can't clearly pick which direction to go. It seems that life is like this for me sometimes.

I see a dawn, a rebirth, a death, a life. I see injustice, I see justice carried out to the extreme. I see love and pain. I see roses with thorns. My eyes hurt, my heart pumps a few more times. The carmelized blood, pumps slowly.

My friends, I am tired, I wish I didn't have to think anymore. I wish I was an idiot. With knowledge comes greater responsibility. Please don't open your mouth to share your news with others. Here's a new secret... shhhh.

No news from the work front. Just more moving of furniture and computers.

I'm sleepy.
Peace-
T

seriously no...

sex shouldn't feel good, or at least shouldn't be a driving force in my life. and relationships should be nice and easy.

I finished voting today. so that's exciting.

it's cold in seattle. i turned on my portable heater tonight.

now, i must sleep.
-T

no dealio

Hey Everybody-
Harold didn't come in today. So most of the day was continuing to do clean up and trying to get approval for hours.

Dan the housemate is gone. He's visiting his father in california. I'm to move his car if he's not back by monday.

I have a wedding that I'm going to on saturday and I think I need to get some wedding clothes, but I'm not sure.

I'm watching stuff on ebaumsworld, when really, I should be getting some sleep. I'm watching a 5 minute car pileup on ice.

So also, I'm going to go to sleep now.

Peace-
Tim

here I am...

I just got back from my flogging molly concert. It was rocking! I am listening to their CD now and filling out my ballot. The Online Voter's Guide has been a huge blessing for figuring out who I want to vote for and what my position is on issues. Without that handy tool, I probably would have gone with the better names.

I am tired and tomorrow I have my "talk" with Harold. Hopefully it will go wonderfully. I am currently in the process of lightening up. I've been very 'heavy' recently and I think I shoudl more go with the flow. Speaking of which, I really want to see I heart hucklebees.

Also, Jebe and Kevin's wedding is this weekend!!! So I'm driving to Oregon on friday.

I hope everyone is doing well, and I need to sleep!
Peace-
T

questions...

when is it time to give up? When is it time to move on? Who can say that love is dead? What is an appropriate christmas present? What is an appropriate birthday present? Is it ok to push people away to protect yourself? How was your sunday?

Is it ok to say you don't want to be friends anymore? Is it ok to shut yourself out of the human experience? Is there anything more fun than sex? Should I take a real job that pays less money? Am I dying? Should I hope? Should I dream? Is there a sentence that is better than "I'm sorry"? What are the correct words for stabbing someone in the back? How does one plead for innocence? Is anyone innocent?

How does one take another's innocence? Are we all dead? What is love? Why does sex come with so many complications? Why am I complicated? Why do I need reassurance?

Why?
-T

anime, sex, drugs, and irish punk

So it was anime night at the house tonight. That basically means that I invite my nerd friends over and we watch anime from 2pm until around 11pm!!! Yes, 9 or so hours of anime bliss. It was quite wonderful. I love that my friends are addicted and therefore buy tons of this and only show me the good stuff:)

My ballot showed up yesterday. I'm still having trouble reconciling the fact that my friends and family may be voting for another 4 years. It truely makes me confused.

What is love? Why does sex confuse me so much? Why do I have a tendency to fuck things up? Is a vasectomy irrational? Is a castration irrational? It seems that my penis is only good for helping me make incorrect decisions. In some ways I wish I didn't have a potent need for sex. Needing/wanting sex only leads to socially disturbing behavior.

If I get the job with MS, cliff wants me to move out to the east side and buy a house. He wants me to settle down and have a baby and be his neighbor. These are things I can't do for him. Since my aversion to getting married, and my love of the night life of even a local bar, it makes it nearly impossible to try and move to the eastside.

If I do get hired full time, I'd like to see if I can start in January. I think a month and a half off would be nice.

I want to travel. I want to fly. I want to meet new people. I want to live. I want to breath. I want to experience. I want to trust. I want to be trusted in. I want to be a friend with benefits. I want someone to travel with. I want to be desired.

I got a haircut from a 32-yr old vietnamese mother of 4. Her oldest was 11 years old. That means she had her first kid when she was 21. I didn't even experience the sex until I was 25. It's weird to think about life lines and life journeys and how one gets from one place to the next.

Sometimes I wonder if I love, or if I just lust. I wonder who I want for a lover. I wonder if I am too picky or if I should go out and look for love more often. I realized the other day that I need to not believe in movie love. It is a farce. People are too crazy to fall in love like in the movies. I'm sure some movies get it right, but there is always fear and doubts. There is the uncertainty. Or is there?

I suppose some people DO actually fall in love with each other and live happily ever after.I know a relationship is work. I know that I have certain things about myself that I have to work on.

I know I am tired. So I leave you with this happy thought... the cheat is not dead.

Peace-
T

wonderboy

So my arm is still sore. Part of the bloody ordeal of visiting a doctor as a diabetic is they take your blood. There is only 1 way to get blood out of your body. That is to stick a needle in you and pull the blood out. Today we filled up 3.5 vials for all the testing. Cholesteral, A1c and a number of other tests I can't think of.

Today was... slow. It was still dismantling and destroying hardware. But it was also playing games. I know of no other greater job than playing video games. Unless of course you consider the guys working on cures to cancer and the other incurables of today.

They're better people. Maybe I should go back to school and get another education. How does one move the world? I imagine it starts with an idea or a word. A kind gesture to a stranger.

I watched a "Day after tomorrow" tonight. It was really quite entertaining. I like natural disaster movies. Especially on a global issue like this one.

I found out that the coastline is fouled with an oilspill. That sucks. Mt. St. Helens is glowing with hot lava monsters.

Nobody will comment about the hot lava monsters, but it seems obvious. Hot lava monsters come with hot lava. Like the north pole and elves.

Anyway, I'm going to go pay bills now. I hope everyone is doing good. Anime day tomorrow.

Peace-
T

production assistant

So, trying to break my way into my dream job may or may not happen.

I'm just hoping that I can make it in before the end of my contract. That is to say... Harold is on vacation starting today. But I ran into before he left to get the updates. I'm wiping machines this week and talking with him next week after he gets back. He mentioned the end of my contract and I mentioned to him that I'd rather convert before that happened. He mentioned that we could talk about it when he gets back!!!

I'm a little excited right now. Very excited that is.

OK, calm down and focus. Prepare for the great computer wiping of all time!!!

Peace-
T

We're leaked!

*sigh*

Halo 2 leaked

*sigh*

It's like you invest SO much of your life into a product and then someone steals it. They would rather no company make any good games than pay 50 dollars for a quality game. Oh well, no wonger why everyone is moving away from hiring contractors. I mean, if your code can be leaked so easily by someone as close as certification, then we definitely shouldn't let contractors play it ;)

Anyway, I'm frustrated and pissed right now.

Peace-
Tim

who knows where thoughts come from?

There are so many reasons to love "Empire records".

Each character has their distinct personality. It makes me smile. I've decided to watch some movie instead of read and make life decisions tonight. Unless being complacent IS a life decision. Perhaps I should shave my head....

I used to think I could be a hermit, but I've decided I like the characters in this world too much, to remove myself.

How do you confront your friends when you know something is wrong? How do you know if you're a slut? In the immortal words of Lucas... "What's with 'Today' today?" How do you fake it? How do you present yourself to be a living sacrifice? Are we no better than animals? Should we be a living sacrifice?

the drama queen

Sometimes I wonder if I am a drama queen. I wonder if I am high maintenance. I know that I am not, but sometimes you wonder.

Today was the last day many of my coworkers were with me on this journey. A lot of them are moving on to other things as it seems we won't be hired back(MS is re-organizing to only include contractors that are under the $12 mark)

I'm trying to find a REAL job here in the meantime. I'm hoping that I won't have to leave so much as just transition to a full time position. I guess I'll keep you informed on whether or not THAT happens.

Anyway, I'm off to read some more. I hope everyone is doing good and having fun.

Peace-
Tim

damn comments!

So I posted some comments over at Amidy's blog. I think she may have set it up to have approval for comments from her. Or maybe it is the work that is trying to foil me.

Damn work. Oh well. Jenny & Kevin's wedding is 1.5 weeks away!!! YAY!!!

ok, back to the grind.
-Tim

life as a cosmic joke

I really want to see I heart hucklebees.I would also like to see Tarnation. (I just saw the trailer over at apple.com/trailers/)

There are so many movies I want to see right now. I am a bit of a indie film junkie. A documentary whore. An eclectic film conosuier(sp?).

I bought "American Idiot" by Greenday, I think my favorite song right now would have to be "Boulevard of broken dreams" which is a really good.

It seems that sometimes no matter how good you are, bad things happen. I hate that shit.

Well, I should get going.
Peace-
T

and then...

So I think I've just been frustrated with the lack of commitment going into today's marriages. I think reading about a bride that slept with a cook in her weddingdress, then reading about someone starting their affair on saturday night, just sunk me into a funk.

Anyway, The Jebe has posted a comment, so that's quite exciting. I'm WAY looking forward to the wedding coming up and seeing old friends. Anyway, I'm hoping that my friends and neighbors can prove me wrong about the whole marriage thing and give me my faith back in this long standing tradition. (On a side note, My housemate had to write a paper on why marriage is a prison for womyn in her Women's studies class)

Ahh Womyn's studies. The most man hating class on the UW campus.

Peace out-
T

marriage?

So, our italian testers had this wonderful advice.

"Don't ever get married. Just stay having fun forever."

From what I've been reading recently, that seems to be the statement of my generation. On some sense of the idea, I guess it makes a little bit of sense. You might not choose correctly the first time. You might have married too young. (Yes 18 is too young) You might have married for the wrong reasons. You might be trapped in a relationship with someone you don't even like.

I think the key to a long marriage is no children and lots of vacations. Time spent together having fun is key. As soon as someone is unsatisfied, they should let the other know.

(Side note: a friend was in a dating relationship and found out his girlfriend had been cheating on him for 9 months, what's up with that?)

Anyway, I'm back on a 40 hour work week since Halo 2 shipped. If you haven't pre-ordered yet, you should. The game kicks ass, and I've been playing it for 9 months, so I know:)

Peace-
Tim

and how

I threw the football around today. I turned in 19 DVDs for $152 in blockbuster gift card. I started reading "Kitchen Confidential". I called and closed a credit card. I woke up at 1:00 pm :) i only spent money on food today. No extras. (*Last night I bought 2 books, but that was last night) I'm listening to Transantlanticism.

I am really going to sleep this time:)
Peace-
Tim

wandering...

Here I sit, with my "pajamas" on. Wondering, wandering, looking, wanting a "soul mate". I lust and love and desire. I dream and scheme and hope. I am scared and smell old age and death sniffing at my heels. I fear the loneliness.

My room is clean. In more ways than it has been in a LONG time. I enjoy my roommates. They are good people. I am lonely, but not desperate. I seek love in the most complacent way of seeking. If it comes along and bites me in the face, I could probably go for it. Otherwise I am fine in my lonely walk. I need to self improve and work on my social skills. I need to go out and meet people and make friends. I need to go on a road trip and a plane trip and get away.

I need to read. I need to cook. I need to love and lust and be. I need to be understood and be able to love. I need to be able to romance and I need to be appreciated. I need to have long walks at night and I need to talk. I want to listen and understand. I want to be part of the human condition. I want to grow and see and learn.

I need to leave. I need to stay.

I have closed 1 credit card accounts in good standing. only 5 more to go.

I need to sleep.

Peace-
T

life is a dream, you need to wake up now

Here I am sitting at my computer. Watching Schindler's List. Arguably one of the best movies of the 90's, if not one of the most powerful films of all time.

I am thinking, which is ALWAYS dangerous. I want to read this book.

I am hoping to read and clean tomorrow. I need to clean my clothes and my room. I need to figure out my life and work on my program.

This is a sad movie. Lying to save lives. Paying to save lives. How can people be like this? How can this have happened? How is it that genocide can still occur in our world?

I think I'll go cry myself to sleep now.
Peace-
Tim

ahh... new toys:)

So my monitor showed up. It is teh SWEETEST!!! It's HUGE. 20.1 inches!!! OMG, I love it so much. I also got a wireless keyboard and mouse today too. So I'm typing this one with the keyboard in my lap. I love new toys.

Also, I went and saw Cliff & Hannah's baby tonight. She is so precious. They're the first of my friends to have a baby. It made me realize how old I am and how I need to start preparing for the future.

Anyway, I need to sleep. I hope everyone is doing good. Thanks for all the comments. You people roxorz.

Peace-
Tim

bit tongues...

I bit my tongue hard on sunday. It still throbs today. I hate biting my tongue and living with the consequences.

A coworker has offered to show my resume around, so I've updated and will give it to him tomorrow. (fingers crossed)

Anyway, my monitor is at the ups station, so I'll be picking that up tomorrow. I'm way excited to be upgrading from a fuzzy 17" to a whopping 20.1" LCD that everyone loves.

The computer stuff I've been wanting has dropped below the dollar that I said I would buy it at, but I've decided to wait. Patience is a virtue.

Anyway, I'm exhausted. I'll check you peeps on the flip side.
Peace-
T

early mornings...

So I rode in to work with Cahlen this morning at the bright hour of 7:20 am!! I'm sorry, but people that are awake this early are just sick:)

OK, a rant that I've been meaning to post... What is up with Button up pants? They've never made any sense to me, but I keep wearing them. I mean, honestly, they're some of the worst pants for urinals ever. When I get done with my business, it takes like a good 5 - 10 minutes just to get the fly closed back up. I'm sorry, but that's just way to long for a pee.

That's it, I've been meaning to share my problems with the button fly with you guys since I started wearing these pants, but I kept forgetting. Anyway, I'm off to nap for a few minutes before work starts.

Peace-
T

my life...

So here's what's new...

Tonight, I went to see "Sky Captain" with Cahlen after work, and have made the conscious decision NOT to drive in tomorrow. This means I'll be catching a ride IN with Cahlen and either riding the bus or catching a lift back home with Cahlen as well. Yay for commuting.

Last night, I woke at around 4am to a motorcycle racing up and down the street outside the house, which meant it sounded like it was on the inside of my house. Then a short 3 seconds later, the street sweeper came by. It was surreal.

I got the bill for my tabs today. 311.75, for 1 year tabs. Have I mentioned how I HATE the monorail? Tonight I clicked a checkbox on iTunes and ALL my music is re-arranged now :( I'm trying to find a program that will re-organize them, but I think I may need to wait till morning.

Anyway, I need to wake up at 6:45, so I'm going to bed.
Peace-
Tim

Mustache Monday

For those of you NOT in the know, today is mustache monday. It was originally started in 2002 as a way to bring attention to our poor brethern who still use this form of facial hair. We needed to let them know that it just looks silly, so silly in fact that we were willing to put our faces on the line for the cause. Originally it was the second monday in October, but this year it was bumped up a week. Unfortunately, I shaved a little over a week ago and was unable to participate this year. For those of you that have removed the beards and gone with the mustache today, I salute you. May your loins be fruitful, and your pains remembered in the afterlife.

On a side note, I got the new greenday album. It is pretty fun!
Peace-
T

another day, another monitor...

So I got a new monitor. It was on the slickdeals site and it's going to be SO nice. It's the one thing that I'm buying for myself out of my uber-busy, "where's Tim?" schedule.

Anyway, I'm back onto a more regular schedule now. 9:30 - 6:00 and I think I'll be taking the bus again. That sounds like a plan.

Well, I need to go to sleep as it's WAY too late for me to be up! I hope everyone is doing well and I'll catch you cats later-
Tim

iPods and Corruption...

Today is Dejah's wedding. I can't make it because of work. So her brother's were here last night, and I think her fiancé. It's weird cause I've never met the guy.

Anyway, I take partial blame for corrupting the boys, but I think that may be wishful thinking. I think I'm just trustworthy enough to be included in their personal sins. Maybe it's the fact that they think they can trust me, or that I bring up the issue in a positive light, but they're more than willing to share with me:)

I am in major iPod lust. I can't seem to find anything wrong with the little beasties.

More random facts... "Garden State" ROCKS! I love that movie. I finally got to see it today. Also, there's WAY to many excellent films coming out. I think the theaters only want me to live in them!!! I bought the new Green Day album today. I think i like it. Well, I must go to sleep so I can work tomorrow.

Peace-
T

ahh... the weekend

Here it is friday afternoon. I'm about to go eat dinner at one of the best asian restaurants in town.

It turns out the wedding isn't tomorrow, it's actually on sunday, so I won't be able to go. I'm not too concerned about it. I'm having dinner with an old friend tonight. So that's exciting. I also hung out with friends today and went and saw "Shaun of the dead". Shaun was ok. It had 2 people from the cast of "The Office" so that was exciting.

I'm excited for dinner and a little shaky. (My blood sugar is at 81 (on the low side of normal))

I need to get my life in order. I need to travel and see new landscapes. I need to escape myself and look for others. I need to be me.

I'm going to dinner now. Peace-
T

ok, 1 more

So I've been thinking about me and my internet self. Are we true to you? Our daily readership ;)

I mean honestly, I'm not this sensitive in real life. Am I a prick? To some people. Do I have gross habits? Sometimes. (I don't style my hair most often and my basic attire is jeans and a t-shirts)

My "friend" asked me if my blog was one of those "I went to the store today" blogs. I can't tell. It's mostly just my journal and the inner workings of Tim's mind. I have no idea why I write or for whom I write.

I know that I need to focus myself on me. so I might survive myself and become more knowledgable of who I am and who I want.

I need to sleep and not drink as much.
Peace-
T

here in the medium...

So it's been 3+ years since I started this blog.

It's weird to think of all the stuff that's happened. It's weird to think outside of where I am right now. I know I enjoy my freedom. I know that I need to find myself.

I watched part of the presidential debate tonight. I know who I'll vote for. But it's interesting to see Bush in action. He stumbles over words and ideas ALL the time. How did this guy win the first election? (*Oh that's right, landslide victory in Florida... HAHAHA*)

And the earthquakes on Mt. St. Helens continue. I went to the Mac store today and saw the iPod. I want one SO bad. I NEED one:) Ahh... cool gadgets... how they'd rob me of my love of travel and people....

Anyway, it's late and I only got 7 hours of sleep last night... I think I'll try to sleep.

Peace-
T